Most of the people I know are trying to lose weight. Quite a few people I know is trying to change their eating habits. And just about everyone is talking about it. I’ll admit I am the guilty party sometimes but it is a Bay Area thing if you know what I am talking about. Food and nutrition awareness is incredibly high here. It is impossible to escape from it.

The Indian diet problem

Long long ago, when India was a land of farmers and walking was the primary means of transport, our ancestors landed on a diet filled with starch. The diet worked because these people burned the energy every day. But over the years, we started making a transition to desk jobs. At the bank, the post office, the small business firm, the shop and everywhere else.

We started moving less yet continued to hold on to the same diet. We convinced ourselves that since we were primarily vegetarians, we ate nothing bad. We celebrated every festival with sweets and savories of a dozen kind. We ate it all and more from those shared by friends and family. We consumed and consumed while not adapting our lifestyles to it. And what do we have to show for it – elevated risk of heart problems at a rate much higher than most other ethnic groups in the world. And it is only getting worse. Information Technology jobs make us sit at our desks much longer while state of the art gymnasiums and gear collect the dust. Call Centers ensure that we eat carb heavy food at the stroke of midnight ensuring that our body metabolic system is completely and utterly screwed up.

The Indian diet in America

If there is anything worse than our diets back in India, it is that in America. Here, we walk even less than we used to and the comforts of our life ensure that we dont take that extra effort to adjust our lifestyles. The rich food coupled with car based transportation in a suburban milieu ensures that our problems get worse in the United States. Most of us do nothing about it until a warning comes along- a routine blood work that shows higher cholesterol or triglycerides, sudden weight gain or worse still, a heart attack. And then we sit down to think and realize how far we have gotten from where we should be. As I am doing now. A few years ago, I was identified with borderline high cholesterol and I have been trying to fix it ever since. I havent succeeded much but I havent gotten any worse. And I am still trying to figure things out.

Changing the habits

Part of figuring out how to get healthier is to understand the habits that caused them in the first place. After talking extensively with friends and family and doctors and patients, and reading as much as I could, here are the simple habit changes I have learnt that can make the most difference.

1. Stay active. Every extra step you take is one towards better health. I started using a fitness tracker last Fall and it has made a huge difference. I use a FitBit One. I wrote about it here. It is the best $99 I have spent in a long time. Walk, run, jog- whatever works for you. Just dont sit for long hours at a stretch.

2. Drink a lot of water. If nothing else, it makes you feel less hungry. I drink gobs of green tea. Even if everything about green tea’s health benefits is a lie, I eat lesser and drink much more water. And that alone is worth the effort.

3. Sleep well. This is a big problem for a person like me. Here I am typing a post at 11 pm at night when I should be sleeping. I have the luxury of being able to wake up at 7:30 ensuring atleast 7 hours of sleep if not better. If you are not getting 7 hours of sleep, you should figure out a way to make it happen. It is worth it.

4. Get some fresh air and some sun. Most of us wake up, get ready, sit in a car and head to work. We work hard, get out and head home and stay put for the rest of the evening barring an occasional shopping trip. We dont get enough fresh air and definitely not enough sun. Most Indian folks suffer from Vit.D deficiency in the US which would rarely happen in India. So think about taking a walk after lunch every day. Even if for 15 minutes. The fresh air and sun will do wonders for you. It also helps me collect my thoughts for the rest of the day.

In the next part, I will talk about some of the eating habit changes that I have been advised and am experimenting with. While the habits part is easy for me to write about, the eating part is a little challenging since I am still trying to figure it out with the help of my wife. That said, I will share what I know and you can give me inputs on your experiences and what you know. I am off to get my 7 hours of sleep now. Goodnight.

I wrote an open letter to you when you turned 4. I figured I might write one more as you turn five today. At this rate, I just might make this an annual affair. Without further ado, lets get to the matter.

Last year, I had the luxury of writing stuff I wanted and not having a worry in the world as to how you would take it because you weren’t really reading anything then. Things are very different now. You read. You actually read big words and sentences. Pretty remarkable how quickly you have grown in the last year. So in honor of your reading skill, I’ll try not to use big words in this post. Just in case you figure out a way to get to my blog. You never know.

You are a big boy now. Not too long ago, you were this little thing no longer than my arm. And now, you are refusing to hold that very hands that lifted you all day, every day. Life has changed. You may not miss it. Your mother does. I do too. All the time.

Weekends are such a joy with you and your mother and I cant wait for it to arrive soon enough. But then there is an added incentive as you are something else during the weekdays. Dude, riddle me this- How many times do I have to tell you that I need to get to work in the morning and things dont happen miraculously?. How many times do I tell you that you cant eat without brushing your teeth nor can I eat your breakfast?. And dude, when you climb onto the car, just find your seat and sit. Is that so hard, really?

We are thrilled that you have taken to music big time. We love that you want to listen to music all the time and also sing your favorite songs. But just keep this in mind- as you grow older, your peers will introduce you to noise of various forms. We have our own little heaven in songs like Jugni Ji, the nottuswaras of Dikshitar or the melodies of Ilaiyaraja. Let not any other noise invade our souls. Not that there is anything wrong with that. But just saying. Also, whining does not constitute music, if you ever had any misconceptions on the matter.

For a long time, I never figured why my colleagues at work had their kids art in their cubes. It was kids art. What was the big deal. But now I know. With every picture you draw, my chest puffs with pride and I cant wait to share it with people or with your grandparents. It was never about the art, was it?

art

I continue to be thrilled by your selection of women you want to marry someday. Your latest choice has my full approval. This time you have progressed to making baby plans with her- twins no less. That may be overreaching IMHO but hey, I am not stopping you from dreaming. You continue to make choices like her and you have an ally in me.

We had our issues in getting you to drive a bike without trainer wheels. I did push you beyond your comfort zone. But dont you get the kick now that you have mastered it?. Take this quote from your dad’s favorite kid’s book – “Try them, try them, and you may!. Try them and you may, I say.” Just promise you’ll give everything a shot. I assure you, you wont regret it.

I like the fact that you like to talk. Very much so. But occasionally it may be a good idea to listen to your mom. This is one solid piece of advice I can give you, having known her for 14 years now. While on the topic of your mom, she loves it that you snuggle up to her. Just so you know.

When you were a couple of months old, your mom and I had this huge argument over co-sleeping. She was very much adamant that you should sleep next to us. I wasn’t a big fan of the idea. Fast forward to a month ago when you finally banished me from your room. I can’t tell you how much I miss sleeping in your room- listening to your random musings before going to sleep and your snuggling up to me in the morning. It was the first time I realized that you were not a kid anymore. It broke my heart.

You finally woke up to superheroes and Transformers this year. Thank Goodness for that. We have a lot to talk about. While I share your ardent admiration of Optimus, I have to say that Megatron deserves a chance too. Poor sod. He isn’t as bad as he is made out to be. He is just a survivor. On the same topic, great that you like Iron Man. Not sure what you see in Spiderman. The dude sucks. Really, really!

On the subject of toys, during one of those regular toy cleanups in your room this year, you actually asked me to toss out your Thomas toys. For a long time, I couldn’t wait for you to get past those holier-than-thou Brit trains and move onto cooler stuff like superheroes. But when it really happened, I was shattered. You see, I associate Thomas to your 2s and 3s. Another sign that you are growing up and I didn’t like that thought one bit. So yes, I have all your Thomas toys stashed away. Aint trashing them, evah!

I think I have written and shared enough. I will now go back to looking at your pictures and videos over the last five years. Time flies so fast. I miss the 0 year you, the 1 year you, the 2 year you, the 3 year you and now, the 4 year you. A lot.

Soar!

If you ever get to reading this, I have one piece of advice on your birthday. Soar, my boy, Soar!. The world is waiting for you. Fly high and fly free. Let not anything hold you back.

Happy Birthday, my very own Superhero.

Signed,

Dad.

The women in my life

The mother

I have been pretty lucky to have had women working hard to fix me- all my life. It was my mom at first trying her best to make a decent chap of me and it must have been hard because she continues to try to this day and obviously the results are not yet there to see. It is entirely to her credit that she has persisted in her task all this while and in that time gave birth to another child and brought him up just fine. And all this happened while she woke up at 5:30 in the morning, cooked breakfast for two people, lunch for two others and a special feast for the most important person of all- our maid, and then scrambled to go to her office- for all of 27 years. She came back tired, started cooking again, cleaned up and then went to bed tired, every single night. Oh did I tell you, I aggravated her every day by my antics and none of the three men in the house ever made it easy for her. Yet, she continued to work on us, one by one, all at once- every single day and continues to do so.

The teachers

The second one was all the fantastic teachers in my school and one heck of a lady Principal. They had a tough one in their hands with me. I was hard to contain – a virus that spread chaos everywhere. Yet, they never truly lost it. They worked hard on me- they saw something in me I never quite did. Today I struggle to handle an active dude at home and am utterly blown away by how much patience all my teachers had. They must definitely have been popping pills every night and cursing me, day in day out. But they never gave up. They kept trying to plumb the depths of my soul to redeem something they were sure was there. And somewhere in that epic struggle, they actually made me believe in myself. I tell you, that is a gargantuan task. To paraphrase a Tamil saying, “For making something of me, someone needs to build a temple for all of them and worship them”.

Along the way, the friends

From the maids at home to the the friends in the neighborhood, the aunts, the relatives – they have all been incredibly patient watching me mess up everything in front of them and yet, cheering me and egging me to go further than I have ever been before. From making me sit in a place for 45 minutes and sing “Viribhoni” until I got it right (how will I ever forget that) to gently guiding me through adulthood, they have done it all. And there are those who nudged me to note that special person who was interested in me. You know who you are.

And now, the wife

A friend, then my girlfriend, my fiance and finally my wife. And a rockstar at that. Can you imagine living with me day in and day out?. Nope, you cant. Trust me. Calling me eccentric would be doing that word a disfavor. And if you have to deal with two such, one 34 years old and the other 4, you would be excused if you were cursing the day you met me. And that she does, every single day. But she also makes my lunch, my dinner, folds my clothes, hugs me (occasionally), cleans my toothbrush holder (an hour ago), scolds me, instructs me, tries to get me focused and most importantly loves me. A lot. If she ever bailed out on me, things would be so much simpler for her. And so much painful for me, I just can’t imagine. Yet, she trundles along. From 6 in the morning to 11 at night. From the time she prepares out lunch boxes to when she washes the last vessel (often mine), she keeps doing it. My own parents wonder how she puts up with me. Yep, true story.

And so…

Through the 34 years of my existence, these women- my mother, my wife, my friends and my teachers have never given up on me. And here is why. Women just dont give up. They are fighters. They fight through pain and failure. Through suppression and bias. Through abuse and shame. Through a world filled with us, the men. And they do so every single day. Never once giving up on the people and things that matter most to them. Again, us, the men. They are warriors in the greatest sense. Not the ones with the guns and cudgels. But the ones with courage and persistence. And they truly deserve to be celebrated every day of the year.

So I will continue to thank my stars everyday for having bestowed upon me all these remarkable women. Someday and somehow. If I can even return even a smidgen of their favors, I would be thrilled to bits.

The Problem

We have a relatively young kid so parents of older kids and multiple kids know this much better than us. Our 4 year old was starting to learn all the wrong things in school. He was also starting to demand his way with things that he liked to do or want to eat. We tend to be fairly rigid parents when it comes to our kids habits. One candy a week, 30 minutes of parent supervised National Geographic a week, 20 minutes on a smartphone per week and so on. But he wanted more of it. And he was starting to throw tantrums for all the wrong reasons. We needed something to get him to behave without having to bribe him for it. A candy to solve a tantrum is not our way of solving such a problem. I had read books and blogs and websites but nothing seemed to work. But we were determined to get him to behave.

A Solution

The star system or the reward system in itself is nothing new whatsoever. It has existed for a long time. But like everything else, it has also adapted itself to the smartphone/tablet era and in a way that makes it easy to manage it. I personally use iRewardChart [iOS] [Android] and like it very much. I am sure there are other such apps for iOS and Android that are worth looking into. I am not here to talk as much about the app as the philosophy that seems to be working for us.

Giving stars

Creating rewards

Our Philosophy

Much of this paragraph is how we (my wife and I) view this reward system based approach with kids. Feel free to disagree or have your own take on it. We believe in making our kid work for what he wants. It is not an instant fix but something he has to work towards- the easier ones come in a day or two. The more wanted ones come over time. And if he wants something badly, he knows he has to work towards it. It would be easy to dismiss this as another form of bribe. But not so. There is an incentive to not just act good for a short instant of time but behave through the day and over a period of few days really to get what he wants. And that builds the right kind of behavior we want to see in our child. Here are some ways it helps.

1. As a gentle reminder

The system allows us to gently prod the child at times when things are getting out of hand. For example, every day my son cries for reasons other than an injury, he loses ALL his stars. And we make it a point to warn him as he is about to break into tears for random reasons usually stemming from tiredness that all his good work for the day is about to get lost. Sometimes it works and other times he cries anyway. When it works, it feels good as does he.

A few months ago, the kids in his class were starting to use potty language. While it is strictly forbidden at home, he was starting to pick it up at school. And I wanted to put an end to it. It was simple. I added a reward category and made his work towards cleaning up the language. He was tempted to lie occasionally but his conscience got the better of him. And that was that.

2. To aim higher

The beauty of the reward itself is how it tests the will power of the child. If you look at the rewards we offer him, the low hanging fruit is a candy. But what he really wants is his favorite petit four- the french macaron. And the rewards system has taught him to work for it. Often times, he will wait until he gets enough for a petit four (40 stars) and skip the 4 candies it would have netted him as instant gratification. And it helps him work towards bigger goals than settling for the easier shorter ones.

3. To do more

My son now makes it a point to read a book every night to earn the stars for it. He writes something in his notebook to get the stars due for it. He also tries to do some art (he does this anyway) every day. It all counts and he wants them all. With every passing week, new tasks are added and newer rewards are offered as his tastes change. And as we add more activities to his roster, he aspires to do them all.

4. To step up to the occasion

My son is very shy of the limelight. He is an extrovert who thrives in the midst of people but hates performing in front of a crowd. And such events occur every few months at his school be it the Lunar New Year party or the Diwali party or Christmas party. In the past, he would excitedly prepare for the day by rehearsing his song and dance at school and at home. But when the day arrived and his group was about to do their bit, he would whine and cry. On the way back home, he would regret it and perform his bit for us at home. This frustrated us to no end. So last Diwali, I told him that he would earn a one time bounty of 100 stars if he made his way through his party smiling and happy. We ended up with his best performance to date. He got his stars and banked them.

5. There are consequences

The biggest gain for us is that our son finally knows that actions have consequences. Good actions like music practice and reading books and waking up on time have obvious good consequences- stars that result in eventual rewards. Bad actions like crying or whining means that stars are lost, sometimes a bunch of them in a day. It took a while for it to sink in but seems to be working atleast some of the time when he does or is about to do something unacceptable or better still, consider doing something good.

The case against

Now anyone could argue against such an approach. It is still a bribe. It will build a feeling in him that everything needs to have a reward and so on. It maybe true. But I dont know. What I do know is that I have a system in place that seems to work well- we are well into the 4 month with this experiment and as a parent you know that it is eons in terms of the quickly changing world of kids. We do our stars every night on my phone. On days that there are tears, I make it a point to remind him that he lost it all because of an unwanted burst and that he should think about it when he feels the urge to cry the next day. And with the rewards, dont you already succumb to the pleas of a crying child or a whining child?. Wouldn’t it be worth something if they atleast worked for their smartphone/tablet time or a candy instead of just crying or screaming for it?.

What next?

As I said earlier, I view the rewards mechanism as a way for my son to know about consequences of his actions. And if I can drill that idea in meaningfully, I would be thrilled. I hope that this continues for a while in some form or the other. There is, in my opinion, too much value in this system to be abandoned.

It has been a tad over 14 years since my wife and I started going out and a little over 8 years since we got married. And the years have been good to us. We have a wonderful boy of almost 5 and everything we have asked for. But a Valentine’s Day or a wedding anniversary comes along and we ask each other the same question – about our love for each other. And I give my wonderful wife the same answer- it is stronger than ever. And I am sure many of you young couples with maybe a little kid or two are on the same boat as us. And I hope you agree with me on this. If not, give me a chance to convince you.

For a young couple in love, marriage feels like the ultimate validation. But then it happens and all of a sudden, there is a feeling that a bit of the air has been taken off the balloon. The thrill of being lovers is replaced by the fact of being a married couple. And with passing years (and I have only 8 of them to show for it) it feels as if the spark is slowly fading away. But in fact, the spark is just becoming a slowly but steadily glowing candle in the dark. We tend to look for the burst where there is a steady stream of trust and implicit understanding.

And then a child happens. It changes our lives completely as it did to us. We totally turn our attentions away from each other and get engrossed for 24 hours of the day (literally, with all the sleepless nights holding a newborn) dissecting the minutiae of a newborn’s actions and sometimes the lack of thereof (why hasn’t he burped yet?). The air in the balloon seems to start escaping rapidly at this point. With every challenge the newborn poses, the little spark seems to be completely disappearing. Little does it dawn on us that we are maturing as a couple and the love is now totally packed into the little one. And we just moved from partially dependent on each other to being totally and completely dependent on one another.

Time passes and life happens in every way possible- working parents, sick child, active child, talkative child and whatever else we are yet to see. At times, we seem to have no time for each other. But to me, the love is very much there. Everywhere and in everything.

When she cooks every morning and evening, lovingly trying to do something different every day and hope that the father and the child like it, there is love in every bite and morsel.

When she does the laundry patiently over and over again, hating it but never stopping to do it, there is so much love. If a person is willing to do your laundry and fold the clothes and put it in the closet without expecting anything in return, there is an incredible amount of love packed into that laundry basket. If you have tried it, I know you believe me.

When she chides us (father and child) for having every lousy dirty habit in the world (yes, I bite my nails) and blames the child for carrying all of the dad’s genes, there is that admonishing love that only a closest one can have.

When she occasionally cries or yells at us, there is always a reason. We may choose not to believe it. But there is always a reason. We know it. And in every frustrated scream, there is an overwhelming sense of love that makes it all the more powerful.

And it is not all her.

When he takes care of the bills and things around the house, it is because he feels protective of her. And wants to make sure she is always safe and taken care of. Never in harms way.

When he goes to the park with the child, it is not to run away from her but to give her some breathing room in the midst of a hectic day.

When he asks her to go shopping with her friends, it is not because he is bored. It is because he wants her to take her time and get what she wants without being rushed by him.

I could go on and on…but you get the point. In a family, we do things because we love each other so much. And there is a remarkable sense of respect and admiration that goes with it. Something that only grows with age.

Our day tomorrow will be no different than the day today or the day after, for various reasons. A bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolates would be great, sure.Would it be nice to have a quiet dinner. Very much so. Would it be nice to have the entire day to ourselves. Heck yeah. But those sometimes are not possible and many of you experience this year after year.

To me, when she packs our lunch and leaves home for work early in the morning, just like any other day, that is by far a bigger sign of love than anything else. That to me says that on a special day she does what the family needs. The biggest sacrifice anyone can ask for and the hardest one too. One that can only come borne out of true love. And for my part, I try my best to show her how much I love her. With gifts, yes,  but more importantly by being useful around the house. And doing every little thing that just keeps her smiling all day. That is my biggest gift to her. You see, when a couple go to bed smiling and happy after a long tired day, every day is a Valentine’s Day. Every day is a wedding anniversary.

So to all of you out there who think tomorrow means nothing, maybe so. It means nothing, but it also means everything when you think about it. By keeping each other smiling and happy all day, you just gave each other the best gift ever. And about that spark, the candle of love glows so brightly that it will blind you to everything else. Sparks are short lived. The glow lasts forever.

I will leave you with the concluding segment from my favorite short story ever – “The Gift of the Magi“ by O.Henry. I happened to pick up a beautiful illustrated copy of it recently and I strongly recommend it.

The gift of the magi

“And here I have lamely related to you the uneventful chronicle of two foolish children who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures of the house. But in a last word to the wise of these days let it be said that of all who give gifts these two were the wisest. Of all who give and receive gifts, such as they are wisest. Everywhere they are wisest. They are the magi“.

Happy Valentine’s Day folks.

P.S: I am allowed an occasion sappy post.

Declaration of Independence

Cursive writing, for long the hardest part of handwriting for kids to master and by far the one that looks the most elegant is now on its way out. And going by the article and random samplings of elementary and middle school kids, none too soon. Kids, for the most part, hate it because it requires so much effort. And parents hate it because it is challenging to teach it to kids when they detest it so much.

Keyboard typing is starting to become the most important aspect of any child or adult’s skill-set requirements- without typing, nothing happens today. Every aspect of the society and our tasks are computerized in some form or manner. Without keyboarding skills, it is difficult to survive in the workplace today.

In this environment, naturally, there are very few takers for the cursive team. And it is a tricky choice to make. On one hand, keyboarding offers instant tangible impact on school work and gives parents the comfort that school syllabi are keeping with the times. On the other hand, cursive writing offers one of the early challenges for kids to meaningfully conquer, one that could give them an invaluable asset whose instant impact can and will never be measurable in a meaningful manner. Studies do show that typing doesnt help the brain develop as much as long form writing. But from a pure data and statistics standpoint, it is hard to make a case for cursive. Keyboarding is really a skill that has dramatically evolved in the recent years and it is too soon to meaningfully assess its impact on cognitive growth, one way or the other.

The parent wants…

As a parent, it is a tricky conundrum. Pretty much all of us grew up slogging over cursive. Horror stories abound. But we stand by our handwriting proudly today. I value my handwriting so much that I took to fountain pen and paper with a vengeance to bring back my penmanship skills of the past. They had gotten lost in the past few years by constant keyboard use. The ability to move away from a computer/tablet/smartphone and collect one’s thoughts by writing them legibly on paper is a critical workplace skill. It allows us to focus on the matter at hand without getting distracted by the ultimate distraction box that is the computer. And keyboarding itself is transient. Soon, touch interactions will replace traditional keyboarding skills. What then?. Lessons in how to use a tablet at schools?.

The role of schools

It is definitely the responsibility of a school to prepare kids for today’s workforce. They also need to give them the ability to adapt for the constantly changing workforce. But in this process of preparing kids for today and tomorrow, we could potentially lose sight of fundamentally important skills like critical thinking and cognitive development. Using touch screens and keyboards are inherently easier than manipulating fingers and using a pen on paper to write cohesively. But easier is not necessarily better for the long run. In this case, I’d rather have my handwriting skills over my ability to touch and interact with something. And I would hope it is the same for my child someday.

So what matters more to you as a parent- your child being able to write legibly and cohesively or being able to manipulate his iPad to get his report done?

A few weeks ago, the little guy had observed this knife sharpener in a section of the Farmers market. I had seen him a few times in the past but just chosen to ignore. This time, the curious toddler decided to walk up and watch the man in action. Now, the sharpener, whose name is Jeff was not handling a customer at that moment. He saw this little dude walking up to him and decided to take the time to show him his setup. For the next 5 minutes, my son was enthralled as Jeff explained every part of his setup. Unsurprisingly my son was thrilled to bits. For a non-paying customer’s 4 year old to get an unasked for 5 minute tutorial on knife sharpening was something unexpected to say the least.

This past Sunday, my wife gave me one of her knives saying it needed to be sharpened. Hearing this, the little guy was reminded of his experience a few weeks ago and excited to say the least. We went to Campbell Farmer’s Market and Jeff was at his usual place. The little guy walked up to him and requested that “his” knife be sharpened. Jeff  didn’t remember us- he probably talks to a dozen such kids every week. But his demeanor was no different this time. He explained every single step of the process to a wide eyed 4-year old kid. Every single step in as much detail as possible. Much of it probably went past my son’s head. But it didn’t matter. Jeff explained everything. It was fascinating for adults who were gathering for this impromptu tutorial but Jeff’s focus was all on the youngest member in his audience.

Our knife sharpened, I paid and was ready to leave. But the little guy wasn’t  He had noticed two sharpening benches and only seen one in action. He wanted to see the other. Jeff waited for the next customer and for the little guys sake, used the second setup even though it was more work and slower rig for his task. Along the way, Jeff explained the nuances of his two benches, kinds of knives he works on, his other tools of the trade laid out on the table and what not.

It was a master class not just in the process but in patience and in how to demystify even the most complex of things to a 4 year old. And I was enthralled. Jeff had taught me a lesson in so many ways – on patience and attention to a toddler. On giving a 4 year old the importance he felt he needed and most importantly, with a smile all the time we were there. The little guy cant wait to meet Jeff again, and honestly, who would blame him.

This world isn’t that bad after all. In fact, it will do fine and continue to do so as long as folks like Jeff are around.

P.S: A personal shout out to Jeff’s business. Doing it voluntarily. He doesnt even know me. But for what he did the other day, this is the least I can do.

As a voracious reader, my childhood and teenage was filled with stories of warriors and demons. Of kshatriyas and battles. Of right and wrong. And if there was a single book that encapsulated everything, it was Mahabharata. The other Indian epic, “Ramayana” was something that never captured my interest quite the way Mahabharata did and the reasoning is obvious. Ramayana was about the most perfect of men, Rama who could do almost no wrong (Sita‘s trial by fire being the exception). It was about love, domestication, devotion and the triumph of good over evil. It was all black and white. The only few interesting elements of Ramayana are all in the conflicted and complex characters of Ravana and Mandodhari. In contrast, Mahabharata has tons of action, and a tad less emotion. I was mesmerized by the plethora of astras weilded by the warriors, something that carries my fancy even today. And then there was the TV show.

B.R.Chopra’s magnum opus that ran and ran on Indian television back in the late 80s. Everyone watched it. Sunday mornings was dead silent as houses were glued into the show for the time it ran. While it is tacky and amateurish by today’s standards, it was a massive production then and for a 10 year old like me, well worth the 45 minutes.

Over the years, I have often times picked up C.Rajagopalachari‘s version of Mahabharata [print][pdf] as a reasonably quick but mentally challenging read because Rajaji brings so much to the table. While he does look at things in black and white, there is a lot of intellectual food that he delivers with his version. Never fails to thrill and inspire.

I have also read the popular comic book writer Anant Pai’s version for Amar Chitra Katha which I own as a three volume omnibus. ACK is interesting because the art is compelling and the content is complete but the text can be stark in its approach to black and white.

I recently picked up Ramesh Menon‘s version of the Mahabharata which is available as a set of two or a collected single ebook on the Kindle store. Ramesh Menon brings color to the story- sometimes putting adults to shame. He does not hold his imagination back and there are times when the reader isnt sure if he is reading the Mahabharata or a Harlequin romance novel. It makes for a very colorful interpretation and vivid retelling of the epic.

And then there is historian and noted Indian mythology writer, Devdutt Pattanaik‘s version titled “Jaya” which is a very nicely illustrated and relatively short version of the story.

Which brings me to my current experiment. I am doing a parallel reading experiment with the above mentioned versions of the Mahabharata. What this means is that on my Kindle, I am consuming Ramesh Menon’s version while I am reading the same section in Rajaji’s, Dev Pattanaik’s and Anant Pai’s versions. Its a tricky affair to say the least but it makes for a remarkable experience as I am reading interpretations from writers of varying statures and written during different era’s. Rajaji’s version hit the press in 1950 while Dev Patnaik and Ramesh Menon completed theirs in the last 5 years. Anand Pai’s version has been in print atleast for the last 20 years if not more. And the books reflect that. Rajaji’s words and take is simple and dharmic. Ramesh Menon, as I mentioned earlier has updated Mahabharata for today’s soap opera viewer. And the overall take on the epic varies dramatically in some sections.

Over the next few weeks, I hope to wrap up this project and offer a couple of blog posts that capture my experiences in this process. Hope you are in for the ride. While at it, it would be awesome if some of you want to do something similar and share your experiences.

SJ

Most of you probably have never heard about Dr.S.Jayaraman, who passed away today in India. And its a shame. Because Dr.SJ as we called him was a teacher extraordinaire and a very special person. And for every one who knew him, he means a lot.

I first met Dr.SJ as an eager student wanting to show-off my assumed intelligence in 1997. Dr.SJ, the preeminent expert in Signal Processing at PSG Tech, my alma mater was the man to impress. If you could impress him and I mean really impress him, it meant that you were reasonably smart. I failed in that attempt but gained a mentor, friend and guide in the process.

Dr.SJ taught us Signals and Systems in our sophomore year (4th semester/2nd year in undergrad college). He was a rarity at PSG Tech where much of the education was by rote, very similar to that in high school. Dr.SJ believed in talking to the student and having a discussion on Signal Processing. In the process, the student learnt by choice and out of interest. His ability to hold an audience and talk to them about everything from the latest cricket series to political affairs to the motivations of engineering were unparalleled. He didn’t believe in forcing education down our throats. He was the only teacher ever to give us the choice of not attending class and still getting attendance for it. All he asked for was a chance to convince us on the merits of the subject.

I remember the final exam for his course which was so hard that everyone thought they would fail. I remember the entire class walking to his office and his assurance that he would “take care of us”. That he did. And continued to do so until we left the college, three years later. He handled a couple of other courses for us and convinced us that he was the best the department had to offer by a mile. He deserved much better than what he got but true to self, never complained. Always smiled. He always had heaps of advice for us and copious amounts of time to chat over tea or coffee at the college canteen.

After graduation, I moved to the US but met him over my next couple of trips to the campus. He was the same person. Nothing had changed. He continued to be surrounded by eager engineers wanting to be the next Gates. He saw those kids off just the same way he saw me and countless students before me. With a smile and his patented form of self deprecated humor.

He was so special that 15 years after we first met him, a bunch of my classmates who had gotten together last week to welcome 2013 were talking about him in glowing terms. And this was before he died. Such was the depth of respect and devotion he inspired in us.

Dr.SJ will be remembered by everyone who had a chance to know him. He was special. We will all carry our own memories of special moments we shared with him. The bonds that will stand the test of time.

As for Dr.SJ, he is probably teaching FFT to the Gods up there. Heavens knows, they could do with a good teacher.