I am still in denial.

You were but a little baby, just about an arms length when I first saw you. You have grown since then. Quite a bit. You sit next to me at the table and have a conversation these days. And I thought you werent going to be doing that until, well, ever.


I remember the nights when I would pace the bedroom with you in my arms, slowly coaxing, cajoling and soon praying that you’d go to sleep. Sometimes you did, only to wake up when I put you in the bed. Yes, I remember those nights vividly. My tshirts bear testimony to it. And now, I cant lift you for more than 5 minutes without starting to feel my back hurting. You have come a long way.

There was a time when your babbles were music to my ears. Now, I wish you would occasionally pause to let your dad and mom talk. Then again, I was no different and that gives me an odd thrill. The seed does not fall far from the tree afterall.

You can be a pain some mornings. Scratch that. Most mornings really. I never thought brushing one’s teeth was such a massive chore. I never thought it would take any human over 2 minutes to wear their socks and shoes. You proved me wrong alright. I never believed our biological clocks treat weekdays and weekends any differently especially while waking up. Apparently not. Somehow you have got them mixed up. If only I could change that.

They started teaching you to read and write at school. Never imagined the toll that it would take on me. I mean, how hard is it to write a lower case “e”. Really. Really?. Just as I am about to tear the few remaining hairs on my head, you blow me away with your incredible smile. As your mom always says, “Sucker!”.

I never thought I would see you fall for a girl until you hit elementary school. Apparently you have a thing for quite a few of them in your day care already. And for thin and charming well dressed women, much much older than you. But hey, the seed doesnt really fall far from the tree.

For all this, you are incredibly tuned to your our emotions so much so that your mom and I long for your hugs and kisses, all the time. I know that when you run out of things to tell me while you are in bed and not really feeling sleepy, the only thing left in your arsenal is “I love you appa”, it still blows my mind. Everytime.

I could go on and on. But I will stop here. I never thought life would be so much complicated and challenging after a child. You have showed me and how. But with every word you speak and every hug you give your mom and me, I can only wish this phase lasted forever. We already miss you as a baby, an infant and will soon miss you, the toddler. Life has indeed become quite different from what it was 4 years ago.

All the more awesomer. Happy birthday, medium guy.

21 thoughts on “Dear son, you are four today.”

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